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July 22 2022

When and How to Talk to My Child about Pornography

Most likely in the history of the world, there has never been a non-awkward conversation about pornography between a parent and child. “I had a wonderful, easy, conversation with my parents about porn,” said no kid, ever. Yet in today’s world, it’s more a matter of when, not if they will view porn. It may be accidental, or it may be on purpose, but the odds are that porn will at one time be a part of your child’s development. Surprisingly, authorities tell us that the average age a child will view internet pornography is 11 years old. Kids don’t even need to be looking for porn—it is programmed to find them. With this in mind, here are four tips for thinking about when and how we can talk with our kids about pornography.

Start talking.

Yes, as a parent you lead the conversation. No one said it would be easy. Just do it. And it’s not a one-time talk, it’s an ongoing dialogue. All studies show that the more positive, healthy, value-centered, sex education kids receive from their parents, the less promiscuous and confused they will be. When you talk about porn, include the larger issues of sexuality and sexual integrity whenever possible. Most parents did not receive healthy sex education from their parents, so this makes it even more difficult. It helps to find good resources, but even with the great resources available, it will probably be awkward for everyone.

Don’t wait.

Talk about the issue before it’s an issue. Far too many parents wait to have the conversation until after the child has seen porn. That dramatically changes the conversation. Introduce the issue early and keep it developmentally appropriate. (Remember: “It’s just a phase.”)

When children are quite young, you can say things like, “God made your body, and you are created in the image of God.” You will want to add, “If anyone ever shows you a photo of naked people or wants you to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable with your body, you can tell them to stop. You can tell mommy or daddy and we will not get mad at you.”

As kids get older, but before age 11, this is the time to have a more direct conversation. Yes, it will feel early, but prevention is always better than dealing with the issue after the fact. Because of the early sexualization in our culture, we just can’t hold off the conversations. Porn is only a mouse click away or one swipe of the phone away. Kids are confused and curious and part of your job is to give God-honoring wisdom while you shower them with understanding and love.

Be a safe haven.

Regardless of your approach, leave shame-based parenting out of the conversation. You want your kids to feel that you are a safe person for conversation about sexuality and pornography. Most likely your child might be embarrassed to talk about porn. Don’t push the conversation too hard or too fast because trying to help your child feel comfortable is vital. You can show empathy and understanding while still helping them with boundaries. By the time your kids are adolescents, don’t expect them to want to have the conversation. Acknowledge that this conversation can be difficult and don’t forget to listen to their thoughts. It’s better to have several short conversations with dialogue than one long, memorable, harsh one.

Make a plan together.

Don’t just talk about porn. With your child’s participation and involvement, create a plan to choose to make good decisions. Here is a simple plan you may want to begin with:

Teach healthy sexuality
- God loves you
- God created your body and sexuality
- The Bible says: Honor God with your body (1 Corinthians 6:20), Renew your mind for good (Romans 12:1-2), Turn your eyes from worthless things (Psalm 119:37), and Guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23).
Talk about porn not being real
- Porn stars are actors
- It’s fantasy
Watching porn can be addictive
- Your brain craves a false feeling of intimacy
- It can cause your mind and thoughts to treat the opposite sex inappropriately
- It causes shame, deception, and avoidance
Roleplay ways of making good choices when tempted
- What to do if someone wants to show you porn on their phone
- If you accidentally view porn, who can you talk with about it?
- Help establish media-safe home guidelines
- Consider accountability friends (make a list)

Pornography isn’t going away. It is a temptation for all of our kids. Your role is key in helping them deal with this issue as well as the greater issues of healthy sexuality and sexual integrity.

Written by Dr. Jim Burns from Parent Cue.

May 27 2021

Baptism: Leading Your Child to Their Next Step

As a parent, God has given you the primary role in nurturing the faith of your child. Once your child has committed to following Jesus, their next step is baptism.

Use these discussion points as you talk about baptism with your child.

Now that you have committed to following Jesus, you need to let others know by getting BAPTIZED.
The Bible is clear that once we start following Jesus, our next step is baptism (Mark 16:16). Did you know that even Jesus got baptized? We can read about it in Matthew 3:13-17:
Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. But John tried to deter him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?”
Jesus replied, “Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.” Then John consented.
As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:13-17 NIV)
Baptism takes place in the WATER. It is a picture of what Jesus did when He took the punishment for your sins.
As you go under the water, you show others you believe Jesus died for you. When you come up out of the water, you show others you believe that God raised Jesus back to life. You have a new life because of Jesus! (Romans 6:4)
Getting saved and then baptized doesn’t mean you will always live a perfect life.
There will be times in your life where you will sin and make wrong choices. When this happens, you should pray and ask Jesus to forgive you. Even though you will mess up, you can know that Jesus died for the forgiveness of ALL our past, present, and future sins. That means even though you will sin again, you do not need to be saved or baptized again (1 Peter 3:18).

Do you want to get baptised? (Baptism application available at faithfamilyhk.com/baptism/#registration)

Want to know more about baptism? Check out this fun video, “What Is Baptism?“

March 12 2021

Do My Kids Love Jesus, or Are They Just Doing What I Tell Them?

My husband and I prayed and prayed for a child of our own.
Once our baby was born, I felt a new weight.

“God, please surround her with Your love. Teach her who You are, and draw her to You so that she will follow you all the days of her life.”

I pray this prayer fervently and desperately. I’ll admit, I pray this prayer because I still struggle with fear—a fear that cycles on the question, “Will my kids love Jesus?” I worry her faith will be borrowed, her worship will be hollow, that she’ll just be going through the motions to fit in instead of as a result of a real, transforming connection with her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

How will I know if she loves Jesus, or she’s just doing what I tell her to do?
On the one hand, I feel like I’ll never know. The Bible tells us it is God who knows the heart, not man. The best I can do is look at her outward actions and listen to her words.

I don’t love that answer, but I don’t let it leave me without hope, either. God has entrusted me with this precious little girl, but He loves her even more than I do because His love is perfect. He is love. As I pray, God will guide me and give me wisdom to train her up in the way she should go so that she will turn to Him when she is older.

But that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit back and just let life take its course with my baby girl. There are good, practical ways to lead our kids to have an authentic faith in God instead of a hollow, contrived faith that falls away. There are conversations we can have that can reveal how God’s working within them.

Here are some practical ideas to think about when you ask yourself the question, “Do my kids love Jesus, or are they just doing what I tell them?”

How do you model authentic faith? Your kids will have a much harder time seeking God for themselves if they don’t get the chance to see your personal walk with the Lord. Be open about the time you spend reading the Bible, talk about the prayers you’ve been praying, and let your kids know when you’re using the Bible App on your phone instead of social media. Include your kids! Pray with them, read the Bible with them, worship with each other, and ask them what they believe God’s telling them.

How wise are your kids? Make a habit of sharing a Bible verse God used to speak to you, and ask your kids what it means to them. Ask your kids to tell you something they’ve learned about God recently, and buckle your seatbelt! It is incredible the wisdom and maturity God can put within our kids. It is even more incredible when you hear it come out of them. And if your kid isn’t there yet? Don’t worry—pray! Take heart in the fact that the practice of talking about the things of God will guide them in the direction they need to go.

When your kids do something good, where is their heart? Do your kids think doing good things will make God love them more? Are they afraid of punishment for doing the wrong thing so they overachieve? Do they think you’ll love them more when they’re “good”? Or do your kids love Jesus, and that’s what motivates them? Ask your kid what they think is so important about “being good.” Read 1 John 4:17-18 together. Let your kids explain what they think it means. Ask them what they think the difference is between obeying out of the fear of punishment, and what it’s like to obey because you love somebody. Your kids’ answers might surprise you!

What is church about for your kids? Do your kids think church is just for fun—or a terrible chore? Whatever place their heart is in, meditate on 1 Corinthians 12:27 as a family, and don’t neglect church attendance until they “get it” or until they “like it.” Be grace-filled as you attend every week as a family. Don’t punish or shame your kids into compliance, but look for ways to make church more enjoyable for them. Where can they volunteer to find purpose? Who can they build relationships with so they look forward to showing up each week? If your kid isn’t onboard yet and attending is difficult, think about it this way: You wouldn’t let your kid out of brushing their teeth just because they didn’t want to, right? Don’t let them neglect the health of their spirit by making church optional, either.

Do your kids know what’s in the Bible? Read Bible stories together. Memorize Scriptures. Make a habit of being in God’s Word, together. Talk about what you’ve read, ask questions, even hard ones, and see what your kids have to say. If you’ve learned something new about a story or verse you all enjoy, share it, and encourage your kids to do the same. If your kids’ knowledge isn’t expanding from super-concrete and literal, know that building a foundation of knowledge of God’s word is not in vain. His Word is alive, powerful, and transformative. He will bring a favorite Bible story or verse up at just the right moment for your child, even if they just read it or memorized it for fun (or for stickers—stickers always help!).

Does your kid have a script that holds up in the real world? Keep walking with God anchored in reality. Play “What Would You Do?” games, interspersing silly scenarios like, “Would you rather eat only ice cream or only cookies for the rest of your life?” with scenarios that would actually happen, like, “Would you rather forgive somebody or get revenge?” Whether the situation is a silly one or a real one, ask your kids to talk about the choice they made. Discuss the choices characters make in books, on TV, or in movies, and ask your kids what advice they would give to them. If your kid enjoys acting, do a little improv. Throw some challenges your kid has been facing (or will potentially face) into a hat with a Bible verse that might help. Draw one out, and act out a scene. Whether your kid takes it a silly direction or a real direction, it’s an outlet for them and a way to practice for the future.

Are you doing this alone? The simple answer—no. You have God. But this isn’t ever a simple question, is it? When you’re single or you feel like you are because you’re estranged from your spouse; when you’re trying to work full time, go to school, and keep it all together; when you’re sick; when you’ve had to move away from your friends and family, and you feel like nothing’s going the way you planned, parenting can feel very lonely. Recognize that loneliness for what it is—a lie from our enemy, meant to hold you back and steal your hope. God did not entrust you with the precious children who live in your home and then leave you to your own wits. This leadership, this care, this love, this nurturing is a partnership. Submit to God. Worship Him. Beg for His direction, and trust that each glimmer of hope, each new idea, each connection you make with another believer is God-ordained. Make Colossians 3:23-24 NLT your banner:

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.

The inheritance is great, fellow parent. Not only will we experience the presence of God within us and for eternity in Heaven, but we will see our kids experience the same glory. There are no words to express the joy we will have to see our children following after the Lord!

I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth. 3 John 1:4 NLT

Resources and Discussion Questions for Talking to Your Kid About Spiritual Disciplines at Any Age

Here are some quick links to free resources about spiritual disciplines for your kids at each developmental level. You can also try these discussion starters to begin a conversation with your kid about spiritual disciplines.

For Your Preschoolers (Or Verbal Toddlers—It’s Never Too Early to Start!)

Start this Bible Plan together.
Go on the Bible Adventure called “A Voice in the Night” together with your little ones. Each time they watch it, they’ll pick up new things.
As you work through this topic together, try asking some of these questions:

Why does God listen to you?
When’s the best time to pray?
What can you tell God about?

For Your Elementary Kids

Start this Bible Plan about spiritual disciplines.
As you work through this topic together, use these questions as a jumping-off place:

What do you think it means to be “close to God”?
How do you think you can tell if you’re close to God?
What do you think you need to do this week to get closer to God?

For Your Preteens

Start this Bible Plan about spiritual disciplines with your preteen. If they have their own Bible App account, invite them to join you in a Plan with Friends.
As you work through this topic together, ask the questions below:

Read Matthew 6:9-13. How is the prayer Jesus prayed an example of how you can pray?
Do you have a Bible verse you love or a Bible story you find encouraging? If so, what is it?
What are some ways God can give you wisdom?

For Your Teenagers

Encourage your teen to start a Bible Plan with their friends. Here are a few plans they could try: Make Room, Everyday Worship, and God So Good.
Talk to your teen about what spiritual disciplines are all about. Try asking the questions below:

How often do you have space to just sit and think without distractions? To just be present in the moment? Why is that?
Read Hebrews 12:11 together. Any initial thoughts? Tell about a time when your discipline was worth the effort put in. Is there an area of your life where you know you need to be more disciplined, but you aren’t? Why do you think that is?
What disciplines do you need to start to help you put God first?

Written by Samantha Lowe from Life.Church.

February 13 2021

One of the Most Powerful Ways You Can Love Your Spouse

Prayer is one of the most tangible and powerful ways you can love your spouse and improve your marriage. The importance of it is often forgotten. This tendency to forget is probably because we haven’t had a deep revelation of what our prayers will do.

Firstly, before we dive into specifics about how to pray for our spouse, we need to understand that having powerful, effective prayers won’t happen if we are not treating our spouse right.
In fact, our relationship with our spouse and how we are treating them, will affect ALL of our prayers. So this is one to get right or all of our other prayers may potentially be hindered. It’s something God really cares about so we need to prioritize our marriage and our attitudes/actions need to be realigned if we are off.

‭‭‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3:1,7‬ NIV
‭‭Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives…Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

You may be thinking, “How can I treat my spouse right when they treat me wrongly?”
You may have been very deeply hurt by your spouse. Maybe you’ve experienced hurt through unfaithfulness or an affair. But a choice to forgive will set you free. It is a process to work through, so allow God to work forgiveness in your heart by speaking it out by faith.

And when you’re struggling, pray! Praying will give you strength. Your love for your spouse and family is so connected to your prayer life. God will give you the power and strength you need but it won’t flow if you are not walking in love to people. When we’re fighting with people, especially with our spouses, we won’t want to pray. When we love each other and have patience we can easily communicate with God.

That brings me right to the second point, we need to understand that having powerful, effective prayers won’t happen if we are holding unforgiveness towards our spouse.

Mark‬ ‭11:24-25 ‭NIV‬‬
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Now I’m NOT saying you need to have your life perfectly in order, and then you can pray. God knows we’re imperfect humans. You might not get it right every time. And that’s okay—continue to strive after God and you’ll find that walking in forgiveness and treating your spouse in love will become easier and flow naturally from the love of God in you. God wants to help you have the best marriage you can possibly have!
Once we’re treating our spouse right and walking in forgiveness, our prayers will be full of power and allow God to truly move in your spouse’s life.

Let’s dive into the 5 main categories we can pray for our spouse.
1. Their spirit: Pray for your spouse to have the ability to fellowship with God.
If they are not saved, pray for their salvation. Pray that they would realize their need for Jesus’ gift of salvation and be receptive to the Holy Spirit’s conviction. Pray that whatever has held them back from believing in Jesus, would be removed. And pray that their questions would be answered and understanding and faith would come to their heart that they would be saved..
If they are saved, pray for the softness of their heart toward God and the Holy Spirit. Pray that they will be receptive to conviction (teachable); that they would continue to hear God and respond. Also pray that they would be refreshed by God – being continually given new joy, hope, peace, and love.

2. Their mind: Pray for your spouse to have wisdom, understanding and discernment
Pray for that your spouse will have Godly wisdom, understanding and discernment(the ability to judge well). Pray that they would prioritize and act on God’s Word in their lives. Pray that their mind is renewed to God’s Word and that they perceive and consider choices through God’s lens. Ask God to protect their minds from attacks and temptation. Pray for your spouse to have purity from lust, financial idols, fear and stress, etc.

3. Their body: Pray for your spouse’s health and safety.
Your spouse may be fighting off a sickness or working at a perilous job; even if they’re not, pray for their protection and health. Also, give God gratitude for health and protection! (Actually, give thanks ALWAYS, no matter the circumstance.)

4. Their concerns: Pray for your spouse’s burdens.
When my husband is dealing with something difficult, it’s part of my role as his wife to cover him in prayer. We often pray together when facing a tough time, but I have to remind myself to pray for him in the Spirit on my own. This is what compassion is all about: taking on someone else’s situation and burdens as your own. Go to God on your spouse’s behalf, taking on their concerns as your own.
If you’re not sure what praying in the Spirit is, I encourage you to watch this message “Praying Without Fear”.

5. Their purpose: Pray for your spouse to fulfill their God-given calling.
Steve and I are one, and our purposes overlap quite a bit. By God’s grace, we are working together toward a common goal…most of the time.
Steve is also a unique, special, gifted, and anointed man with purpose specifically tailored to him. In fact, he’s God’s child before he’s my husband. As his wife, it’s my role to support him in his God-ordained purpose by encouraging him, watching his back, offering counsel, and most of all, praying.

If you would like an example prayer for you to pray over your spouse, the Bible has several!
You can find the prayers here:
Colossians‬ ‭1:9-14
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭1:3-11‬
Ephesians 3:16-19
Ephesians 1:17-19

I have used these powerful prayers to pray over my spouse and over myself as well. When you pray these prayers, I encourage you to personalize it by changing the words “you” to the name of your spouse.

Here’s a personalised example from Colossians‬ ‭1:9-14‬ ‭NIV:
Dear Father,
I will not stop praying for (name of your spouse). I continually ask You God, to fill (name of your spouse) with the knowledge of Your will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that (he/she) may live a life worthy of the Lord and please You in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God. I pray that (name of your spouse) would be strengthened with all power according to Your glorious might so that (he/she) may have great endurance and patience, and give joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified (he/she) to share in the inheritance of Your holy people in the kingdom of Light. For You have rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son Jesus, You love, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
Amen

Written by Pastor Sharmin Fischer from Faith Family Church.

December 19 2020

17 Incredibly Fun Ways to Celebrate Christmas

Christmas, my favorite time of the year! Why? Because it’s when the entire world pauses to celebrate the birth of our Saviour! Even non-Christians celebrate Christmas! It’s like the whole world can’t help but celebrate the greatest gift we’ve ever received, Jesus!

Speaking of celebrating, we’ve put together a list of incredibly fun things you can do to celebrate Christmas with your family! Having grown up in Hong Kong, I remember (and still today) most of my Hong Kong friends did nothing for Christmas…except study. It always burdened my heart that they were missing out on such a meaningful time of the year. Maybe your Christmases haven’t been special in the past and you’re wanting to brighten up your Christmas celebration this year. Or maybe you’re on the other side of the spectrum, celebrating Christmas with all the carols, cookies, and lights!
Whatever your Christmases have looked like before, I pray that these ideas below bring joy and warmth to your family this Christmas!

1. Set Up a Christmas Tree.
You probably have your Christmas tree up already! (I do!) But if you don’t, it’s not too late! Christmas trees can be purchased at your local stationary store (most stores are selling a small, pre-decorated tree) or Ikea. Or if you’d prefer not to have a tree, your kids can create a fun Christmas tree out of popsicle sticks.

2. Make an Ornament.
This one is one of my favorite ideas! I remember making an ornament when I was a youth that I still have today.
You don’t need super fancy craft supplies! Just gather some string, glue, and popsicle sticks, all of which can be found at your local stationary store.
Easy Popsicle Stick Ornaments

3. Play Christmas Music Around Your House.
This one will set a magical atmosphere in your home almost more than any of the other ideas on this list!
Here’s a few links to great Christian Christmas Music:
For the family:
Christmas Playlist
Relaxing Christmas Music
Hillsong Christmas Music

For the kids:
Bethel Kids Christmas Music
Kids Christmas Playlist
Christmas Music with Motions
Preschool Christmas Music

4. Make Christmas Cookies.
This is a fun activity, especially for kids! Children love to be involved in the dessert making process, even if all they do is hold your hand while you’re stirring the dessert!
Here’s two simple recipes, one doesn’t even need an oven!
Delicious Christmas Cut Out Cookies
No Bake Christmas Cookies
Tip: Make any of your favorite desserts become a Christmas specialty by adding some red and green or Christmas sprinkles!！

5. Read the Christmas Story.
I remember Christmases where my family sat by the Christmas tree and each member took turns reading different parts of the Christmas story from the Bible. This cemented in my heart at a young age what the real purpose of Christmas is. It’s not Santa Clause, it’s not the gifts, it’s Jesus.
You can read the Christmas story straight from the Bible (Matthew 1–2 and Luke 1–2) or from the Bible App for Kids.

Tip: Have your kids “act out” the story using random clothes around the house for props and costumes!

6. Watch a Christmas Movie.
There are some very well-done Christmas movies that have become my personal favourites! I have listed them below. Currently cinemas are closed due to Covid-19. So why not make homemade hot chocolate, snuggle up on the coach, and enjoy a great movie at home!
(The movies listed below that are available on Amazon can easily be rented or purchased and watched immediately. No need to have previously set up an Amazon prime account to rent/purchase a movie from Amazon.)

Superbook The First Christmas Available for free on Youtube
Veggietales Merry Larry and The True Light of Christmas Available for free on Youtube
The Star Available on Amazon
The Nativity Story Available on Amazon
The Grinch Available on Amazon
Mickey’s Twice Upon a Christmas Available on Amazon

7. Sing Christmas Carols.
You can sing your favorite Christmas songs in karaoke or acapella style! Add a live instrument if one of your family members knows how to play.
Here’s a few karaoke style Christmas songs:
Silent Night
Jingle Bells
We Wish You a Merry Christmas

8. Donate Money to Bless Another Family/Child.
Christmas isn’t just about receiving presents, it’s about GIVING! It all started on the first Christmas when God gave us the gift of Jesus.
Raising money to bless another family/child at Christmas is a great way to develop a giving, generous culture in your family.
You could encourage your kid(s) to set aside a certain percentage of their allowance or give your kid(s) extra tasks they can do around the house in order to “raise” money to donate. The donation doesn’t have to be massive, even $50 or $100HKD can be enough to make a special Christmas donation.

Here’s a few great places to make donation to:
Faith Family Christian Church (or your local church)
One Hope (Helps send God’s Word to all children in every language.)
Viva (Helps release children from poverty and abuse worldwide.)

10. Make a Gingerbread House.
Fun, easy gingerbread house sets can be purchased at Ikea or you could make an easy gingerbread house using paper and tape!

11. Make a Christmas Craft.
The options for a Christmas craft are endless! Here’s a few easy ones just for starters:
Free Christmas coloring pages
Christmas Wreath Craft for Kids
More Christmas Craft Ideas

12. Visit Christmas Displays.
This is one of my all time favorite things to do!! It’s free, fun, and a great opportunity to capture some family pictures. Just remember to wear your masks and you’re good to go!
The Best Christmas Displays In Hong Kong For 2020

13. Go Christmas Shopping.
Giving presents is a wonderful way to celebrate Christmas!
I remember as a little girl my parents would take me Christmas shopping and I loved picking out and purchasing little gifts for my family. They weren’t even expensive gifts(around $10-20)!
Great places to find reasonably priced gifts for the whole family:
– Ikea
– Your local grocery store (Who doesn’t enjoy opening their favorite drink/snack on Christmas!)
– ToysRus

14. Wrap a Christmas Present.
So you’ve purchased the gifts, now wrap them! Bows, wrapping paper, bags, tissue, ribbon…what fun!

15. Write a Christmas Card.
This is a perfect gift for family/friends that you’re not able to visit in person this year. You can purchase Christmas cards or DIY your own cards with paper, stickers, and colorful pens!

16. Make a “Merry Christmas” Video for Your Loved Ones.
This could be a special treat to send to family far away on Christmas Day! You could sing a Christmas song, share a scripture, or pray for your loved ones in the video.

17. Play a Christmas Game.
Christmas games create the perfect opportunity for non-screen bonding time and getting young kids’ energy out!
Christmas Charades
Christmas Dance Freeze
Snowman Bingo
What’s in Santa’s Hat

Written by Jael Fong from Faith Family Church.

December 16 2020

Your Kid’s Life Will Change—Teach Them God Doesn’t

Just when you think you’ve got your kid figured out, they’re onto the next stage, and everything’s different. We certainly feel the pressure as parents, but our kids feel it, too. No matter what, your kid’s life will change.

Kids change, and there are growing pains that come along with all that change. New levels of thinking, understanding, skills—new schools, classes, teachers, friends, and challenges. Losing pets, losing loved ones, moving.

As parents, how can we help them make sense of it all? How can we build them up to be resilient, not only through the good changes but also through the ones that seem really, really bad.

Tell them to pull themselves up by the bootstraps, right? But…You know as well as I do that self-confidence can only go so far.

So tell them to talk it out. Confiding in others is critical, helpful, and healthy. But…Even in the most supportive relationships, there are letdowns.

Is that pessimistic enough for you?

Teach your kid about God’s faithfulness so that no matter what happens around them or within them, they know they can trust in Him, rely on Him, and find their direction in Him.

The fact is, kids change. Life changes! God doesn’t. Teach your kid about God’s faithfulness so that no matter what happens around them or within them, they know they can trust in Him, rely on Him, and find their direction in Him.

How can you help your kid understand God’s faithfulness? Here are a few conversations you can have as a family.

1. Read Bible verses together about God’s faithfulness and unchanging nature. Ask your kids to put them into their own words. Talk about what they mean.

Numbers 23:19
Hebrews 13:8
James 1:17
2 Timothy 2:13
Romans 3:3
Matthew 24:35
Psalm 9:10
Psalm 136:1
Deuteronomy 7:9
1 Thessalonians 5:24

2. Talk about the ways God has been faithful in your life. Ask your kids to share times He’s been faithful to them, too.

3. Talk about who God is and His unchanging nature. Ask your kids what they think God is like. Focus on the true aspects they share, and talk about how those things will never change.

4. Ask your kids to talk about change. Unpack the ways they’ve changed, people change, the world around them changes, and the way culture changes. Contrast that with God’s unchanging nature.

Written by Samantha Lowe from Life.Church.

November 14 2020

How Can I Teach My Child to Pray? (Without It Being Boring!)

Oftentimes a parent desires to teach their child how to talk with God (pray) but doesn’t know where to begin. Or maybe a parent teaches their child how to talk with God but feels discouraged by their child’s silly and/or disengaged behavior. Let me encourage you, your child can learn to pray and LOVE to pray.

The wonderful thing about teaching your child to pray is that Jesus loves it when little children are brought to Him.
Matthew 19:13-14
Then people brought little children to Jesus for Him to place His hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them.
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When He had placed His hands on them, He went on from there.

Teaching your child how to pray begins with teaching them to know God.
Set aside time everyday to teach your child about God. You can read your child Bible stories, show them pictures of Jesus, watch Faith Family Kids Online, or worship together by listening to worship music. God will become real to their little hearts as they hear about Him and feel His presence.
Once your child begins to understand how real and loving God is, they’ll be open to prayer.

Here’s some very practical steps to teach your child to pray that I learned as a young mom of four kids. Now as a grandmother, I still use these same steps to teach my grandchildren! Keep in mind, that every child is different. If you have more than one child, don’t worry if one child is more engaged in prayer than the other. Stay consistent and you will see results!

Show Your Child What to Do Physically.
Children can be very inclined to play and be silly–and that’s okay! Simply by having your child close their eyes and fold their hands (or hold hands with the family as you pray together), they learn to quiet their bodies and minds and think about God. Children tend to be more calm at certain times of the day (e.g. before bed, when you’re holding them, etc), try praying at those times, especially if your child is usually full of energy. As you teach your child what to do with their body while praying, your child is learning to honor and reverence God.

Let Your Child Hear You Pray.
One of my earliest childhood memories was hearing my mother pray as she went about her work in the house. I especially loved hearing her pray in the Spirit. It showed me that talking to God was real and easy and could be done anywhere.

Help Your Child Talk to God.
Give your child the words to say to God and have them repeat the words after you. You can even pray the same words every time. Repetition will help your child to remember what to pray the next time. This can start by praying a blessing over every meal. Then at night lead your child to pray before bedtime for the people in their life and the church. During these sweet times, it’s also good to lead your child to pray about their own lives and pray in the Spirit. It was during one of these times that our 2 year old daughter, Jael, was filled with the Spirit and first spoke in her heavenly language.

Give Your Child Opportunities to Talk to God from Their Own Heart.
Praying on their own will begin naturally as children remember how to pray and want to do it themselves. You can still help your child along until it flows freely from their heart.
Teach your child to talk with Jesus, worship Him anytime, and listen to Him on their own. Children enjoy this interaction with Jesus. Afterwards encourage your child to tell you what they heard Jesus say.
For example, one of my favorites was from our 3 year old grandson, Asa.
One night, Asa met and talked with Jesus in a dream. The next morning he excitedly shared with me that Jesus had said to Asa, “I love you so much!” I asked if Jesus said anything else and Asa replied, “Jesus said to tell you ‘Hi.’”

Sample Prayers for Your Child to Pray:

Prayer before meals:
Dear God (or Dear Jesus, Dear Father)
Thank You for my food.
Bless it to my body.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen

Prayer for healing:
Dear God,
Thank You for Jesus.
I ask You to heal my (whatever pain or sickness they have)
Please take away the pain.
Thank You for healing me.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen

Prayer for needs:
Dear God,
Thank You for loving me and giving good gifts to me.
I ask You for (whatever requests or needs they have)
Thank You for giving me those things.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen

Prayers before bed:
Dear God,
Thank You for all my family and friends.
Please help me to obey and be kind.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen

Dear God,
Thank You for (or bless) Mommy and Daddy.
Thank You for my family. (you can pray for as many people as you want)
Thank You that I played outside today. (whatever the child did that day)
Thank You for my church and all my friends.
Thank You for my toys.
Thank You for my house and my bed.
I ask You for good dreams.
Thank You for keeping me safe.
I love You Jesus.
I will obey You and do what You want the rest of my life.
In Jesus’ Name
Amen

Written by Pastor Sharmin Fischer from Faith Family Church.

October 9 2020

Wondering How to be a Good Parent? This May Help.

I didn’t become a Christian until my children were teenagers. We didn’t have a relationship with God or the hope of our Savior. My children were raised in a split home with many hardships and letdowns. I wasn’t even sure how to be a good parent.

I remember holding my children and gazing into their eyes for the very first time. Becoming a parent is experiencing a love no words can explain. A love so deep you would die for them. I always say my children are little pieces of my heart walking on the outside of me.

Psalm 127:3 CEV Children are a blessing and a gift from the LORD.

When your children laugh, you laugh with them. When they hurt, you hurt with them. Kids fall down and get boo-boos that only a momma’s kiss can fix.

We get so excited when they reach milestones, cry when they start school, stand in disbelief watching them drive off in a car for the first time, and cry tears of joy when they graduate.

When our children are small we can instruct them, mold and shape them, redirect them, and most importantly, pray with them and for them.

We parents tend to be very hands-on with our babies. We have a sense of control over the direction of their lives that is comforting. But then one day … they leave the nest. Now we find ourselves faced with letting go of our children and releasing them to the Lord.

Whether you relate to my situation or you raised your children with Christ, it’s devastating when your children lose their way. And I’ve learned there is a fine line between assisting and enabling our children once they start making their own choices. We have to let them walk through their hardships so God can shape and mold them.

No matter your specific situation, the most powerful tool we have to help our children is prayer.

I’ve learned that trying to rescue them not only cripples them, but also gets in God’s way. We cannot walk their paths for them; we must let them walk their own spiritual journey by their own free will. No matter your specific situation, the most powerful tool we have to help our children is prayer.

Pray fervently over your little babes at home, your rebellious teenagers, your prodigals—whatever stage of life they may be in.

It doesn’t matter if your child is battling addiction, joblessness, divorce, loss, financial troubles, or any other number of things … prayer should be our go-to. Whether things are good or life is teaching them a lesson, moms, surround your children with your prayers.

I find myself in prayer over my children daily. When they are hurting or struggling, it feels as though I should be doing more than praying, but God gently reminds me that He doesn’t need my help. He loves our children more than we do and hitting our knees in prayer over their lives on a daily basis is the best and most powerful thing we can do for them.

No matter their journey, be in prayer for:

Their salvation (Romans 10:9-10, Titus 2:11-12)
Their future (Jeremiah 29:11-13, Psalm 20:4)
Their walk with God (Romans 8:28, Proverbs 3:5-6)
Their struggles (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Isaiah 41:10)
Their protection (Isaiah 54:17, 2 Samuel 22:3-4)

Remain strong in faith because God hears and answers our prayers.

Article by Suzi Hanson, from Life.Church.

Here's a Great Parenting Bible Plan

September 19 2020

Important Tips to Help Your Child with Their Education

Whether it’s been rough for your child to get back into the rhythm of school life (hello Covid-19) or it’s been pretty smooth, here are some practical tips that you can do to help your child tackle their education…in other words, get better grades!

Tip #1: Remind Your Child That They Have the Mind of Jesus.

What does that mean?

1 Corinthians 2:16
Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?
But we have the mind of Christ.

This verse is saying that we have access to Jesus’ thoughts and we can think like Jesus! Jesus was present when the world was created. Every plant, math problem and 1.5 million unique living things on the earth, Jesus not only understands, He was there when it was created. What better person would be able to help your child understand their school lessons than Jesus!
When your child believes in Jesus, then the Holy Spirit will live in them and your child will have access to Jesus’ thoughts. That means Jesus can give your child the ability to think and understand things that normally they would have a really hard time with.

Action Steps:

Pray.
Parents, your child needs your prayers—daily! When you pray, ask the Holy Spirit to give enlightenment and wisdom to your child.
If your child doesn’t believe in Jesus, begin praying for your child to understand God’s love and desire to know Him more. Use the How Can I Lead My Child to Jesus guide when the opportunity arises to talk with your child about Jesus and believing in Him.
Encourage your child to spend time in the Bible.
The more familiar your child is with the Bible, the more familiar they’ll be with the Holy Spirit’s gentle voice, speaking in their hearts, helping them to understand their studies.
Here’s some exceptional verses for your child to read and say over themself: Psalms 119:98-100, 1 Corinthians 2:16, Philippians 4:13
Have your child say Scriptures out loud. (Especially as a confession.)
Ph.D. Contributor Susan Smalley states that “…the power of words to affect your emotions and actions are well demonstrated in science.”
Download our free Back to School Confessions for your child! Speaking words out loud is more powerful than you might think!

I’ll never forget taking my Level 5 Music Theory exam with my sister. The preparation for this exam was a massive leap into the world of music. Some parts I loved, other parts I struggled just to understand The day of the exam, I arrived at the testing centre with hundreds of other students. Student’s looked over their notes one last time before we were admitted into the examination room. Yet my sister and I were the only ones who pulled out our Bibles, not just our notes. I remember noticing how nervous the other students were. I felt nervous too, but more than that I had the overwhelming peace of God that calmed me and reminded me that God was with me. He was going to help me to take the exam.
Months later I received the results and had achieved one of the top marks possible. I say this not to credit myself, but to show the power of speaking God’s Word and believing that I can have the mind of Christ!

Tip #2: Reward Your Child’s Hard Work!

Children can learn that hard work can be done because they “want to”, not just because they “have to”. How do we motivate that kind of attitude? By rewarding your child’s hard work!
You might be thinking that sounds like bribery. Don’t worry, it’s not at all. Bribes are given, usually in advance, in order to persuade someone to do something for you. Rewards are given as a result of something good that someone did.
Rewarding your child’s hard work encourages them to do more! And it’s an example of God’s love.

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

God is a rewarder. This is not something He does to make people like Him, this is WHO He is. He’s a loving father that wants to bless and reward His children.
In the same way, you can be a loving parent looking for ways to bless and reward your child.

Action Steps:

Give intentional rewards.
Rewards don’t have to be a massive toy or sum of money.
They can be as simple as playing a game together, taking your child to their favorite restaurant, or watching their favorite movie…and the list goes on!
Rewards that include being together promote a beautiful, healthy relationship with your child.
Start with small rewards.
What should you do if your child doesn’t work hard at anything?
Not to worry! Start with the little things, then grow from there. For example, did your child finish all their homework before the deadline? Even if the result wasn’t the best, point out that you’re proud of your child for meeting the deadline. Then this becomes an opportunity to give a smaller reward and encourage them with the thought that next time, when they work hard to study and improve their grades, they’ll receive a greater reward!

Ps. Download our free Back to School Confessions for your child!

Article by Jael Fong, Kids Director at Faith Family Church.

July 24 2020

What Do I Do When My Kids Are Driving Me Crazy?

We want to win the battle with our kids…winning is the goal right? Well no, it’s not.

When creating order and peace in our homes…we can start by communicating in a way that values the relationship over the rules. @AllyEvans

Through Moses, God shows us there’s a clear connection between obeying and love. For years, Moses wrestled with the Israelites to obey all the laws and rules. But then, His tune changed. In Deuteronomy 6:5 He says, “Love the Lord Your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” He started fighting for something more important than behaviors and rule-following. He was fighting for the hearts of those who followed Him.

So when creating order and peace in our homes, setting expectations and rules is very appropriate. But perhaps we can start by communicating in a way that values the relationship over the rules.

How do you do that? It starts with for not from. I’ll explain.

Here’s how to let love rule your home.

The most basic thing is to communicate what the rules are, why they exist, and what the consequences are when those expectations aren’t met. Do this in a calm moment. Have a normal conversation about it with your kids and even allow them to speak into the expectations before things get heated.

The truth is, rules and expectations are a way for us to tell our kids what we want for them. But what we often communicate accidentally is what we want from them. We say:

You need to clean your room.
You need to get in bed.
You need to be home by a certain time.

But what we mean is what we want for them:

It will help you in life if you keep your things tidy and organized.
Getting an appropriate amount of rest will help you have a great day tomorrow.
I want us to build trust with each other.

When our child breaks a rule or behaves inappropriately, it can immediately cause us parents to get angry. At that moment, we actually lose the opportunity to bring direction in a way that is based in relationship.

Take time to pause and let any anger or frustration diffuse, then talk with your child. Give them the “why” behind the “what” of the rules and expectations. Listen to their thoughts. And then, when you provide the consequences to their behavior—because that still must be done—you can do so with love and a hug.

As you do this consistently, I believe you’ll experience love-driven obedience from your kids. Love-driven obedience will outlive our children’s time in our homes. They will take that with them wherever they go. And it all begins by prioritizing the relationship over the rules when communicating!

Article by Ally Evans, from Life.Church.

Here's a Great Parenting Bible Plan